Sooner or later, unless you’re a brilliant manager or extremely lucky, you will get a situation where two members of your team have a disagreement. This may result in conflict and you have to do something about it.

Most conflicts occur because of a role conflict. It’s seldom these days that it’s a personality conflict where two people can’t stand to be in the same room with each other. So how do you deal with a situation that requires your input?

Get the two together in a room to discuss the issue. Have a positive mindset first, knowing that the disagreement CAN be resolved if you approach it in the right way.

You can start with “I’ve called you together because I have a problem and I need your help“. This is true because it is your problem and if it can’t be fixed, others in the team will be affected, and that won’t be tolerated.

State your concerns about the lack of co-operation between the two. Tell them how you are feeling, using high emotional intelligence wording. Something like, “I feel frustrated…” or “I feel a bit helpless here…” or “I feel disappointed…”. Make sure they know how it makes you feel. This may help them to start thinking about problem solving instead of blame-placing.

State what you actually see, their behaviour. No judgments. No blame. Just facts.

Ask for their help. “What do you think both of you could do now so I no longer have this problem?”

Facilitate the discussion. Concentrate on the future, which can be created, not the past, which can’t be changed.

Get them to agree an action plan. Focus on what can be done to resolve the issue, rather than what can’t. You need commitment for change from both parties. If they still want to maintain their status quo positions, ask what they now expect you to do about it. This will often help them identify the positive changes that need to be made and the benefits that will come from it.

Offer help, if that’s what’s needed.

Arrange a follow-up to measure the effectiveness of any actions they take.

End with something like “Thanks for agreeing to these actions. I’ll support you all the way. By the way, if any of these actions are not carried out, how would you like me to handle it?” This allows you to plan for the eventuality that none of you want, and you may have to be quite directive in what you do.

By planning the meeting as above, there’s a chance that the conflict can be managed by the two parties themselves without too much intervention from you. I’m sure that’s what you would really want, and your proactive actions may help you avoid any further conflict.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

Personal differences in the workplace often cause conflict to occur because people have their own viewpoints, attitudes and characteristics that determine how things should be. The more concrete these views, the more likely people are to be entrenched in them, simply because they feel that a different view may affect their self-worth or self-concept.

People decide to either accept differences in some ways or stand their ground. And it’s this stubbornness that can sometimes cause the conflict we often see in the workplace.

How can you manage the situation, and help the parties identify a way of dealing with it?

You might try the concept of ‘perspective change’ that allows both to see things from a different angle and hence achieve a better understanding of what a solution looks like.

For example, if someone has a fixed view and you want to see the bigger picture, questions like ‘what’s your intention behind this?’ or ‘what are you trying to achieve with this?’ will help the individual shift upwards in their perception, and give you a bigger picture of the rationale they are using to back up their viewpoint.

If both people answer the question, you may get closer to achieving a similar goal. You can ask the question again to achieve a bigger picture, and you may get to the point where both are looking for the same result or goal.

Now, if you hear they are being too generic in their descriptions of what is wrong, you may ask them to be more detailed by asking ‘how specifically does this affect you?’ or ‘how does this impact you?’

This gives you the opportunity to see precisely how they view the situation, and how it could be dealt with.

By achieving a different perspective from each of the people involved, you get them to see it from a position they probably hadn’t appreciated before, and maybe will be driven to a better and more agreeable response.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

Anger is a natural human reaction to a difficult situation. Humans use anger to convey a change in attitude and to signal others to modify their behavior or suffer the consequences, whether that consequence be in the form violence, loss of job, or some other punishment.

Unfortunately, many people aren’t able to control their anger and let it get out of control. They don’t properly convey their feelings and usually end up hurting themselves as well as others. Here are a few more anger management techniques you can use when you start to feel out of control.

Sit down and have a conversation with yourself. Find a place where you can sit down and tell yourself “I am angry right now because…” and fill in the blank. You can do this alone in order to get control of your feelings or you can use it as an opportunity to start a conversation with the person you feel caused your anger. Just remember – no yelling!

Meditation is a highly recommended stress reliever. Meditation gives people the opportunity to clear their minds and refocus on the task at hand. You’ll be able to revisit any situation without the negative feelings you had initially. You can take a class on meditation or even find a video or recording to guide yourself at home.

Find a reason to laugh. Laughter is, after all, the best medicine. Keep a funny book, picture, recording, or video saved in a place where you can access it at all times. When you feel angry, whip out your favorite funny piece and have a good laugh. It’ll give you a chance to rebalance yourself while diffusing some of your anger.

Remember, while anger is natural, it can be controlled. As a manager, courses in dealing with conflict or being assertive may also teach you new ways to control your anger in a difficult situation. In the end, though, be sure that you never let your anger get the best of you, either at home or at work!

Thanks again,
Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”

There’s something about conflict that makes even the best of managers want to run away and hide under a rock. Unfortunately, as a manager you have to take control of any situation within your workplace, whether positive or negative. You are in charge of identifying the situation, intervening, and facilitating mediation.

I have, however, learned from experience that becoming too involved in a situation does more harm than good. If you spend too much time trying to figure out who is right and who is wrong you eventually find yourself unfairly biased towards one side or the other and, suddenly, you are no longer able to make a fair decision. Here are a few things you should NOT do when attempting to mediate a conflict.

Do not pretend the conflict does not exist. Most conflicts do not really ever go away by themselves. As a matter of fact, if it appears a conflict has resolved itself you should keep a careful eye on the participants, become one will likely explode later as those tense feelings fester beneath the surface. Suck it up and deal with the situation.

Do not allow each participant to corner you individually. Each person would prefer to have you believe his side of the story is more important or more accurate. Allowing each person to meet with you separately only fosters this need. Unless there is fear of physical altercation, meet with all participants together and encourage them to share their views in a constructive manner.

Do not let those in conflict spread their negativity throughout the entire office. Everyone working within the general vicinity of those in conflict is going to be impacted by the stress, anxiety, and disruption caused by the conflict. Don’t let anyone involved discuss the conflict with anyone else. Try to keep the incident as isolated as possible in order to ensure it does not begin to impact the functionality of others within the workplace.

Conflict is almost guaranteed in today’s workplace, but if handled carefully and effectively you can nip it in the bud and turn it into a constructive experience. Not sure you or your fellow managers have what it takes? Consider additional training on dealing with conflict so that you can approach each day confident you are able to handle whatever life throws your way!

Thanks again,
Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”