There’s a saying in the north of England that goes something like, ‘There’s nought so queer as folk!’

With apologies to our northern readers, the saying is absolutely correct. If you’ve ever had to have dealings with human beings, the best way you can describe different people is…well…different!

As managers we meet a complex mixture of characteristics in others, and the best managers we come across are those that can adapt to the strange ways of other folk.

You may recognise aspects of the personalities or behaviour in your colleagues in the following ‘types’.

* Lazy Shirkers – The best way to approach slackers and skivers who don’t do their share of work is to use involvement and feedback. Explain that you are having challenges and that you need help or suggestions. Tell them how you see it, and then ask for the person’s help in actually solving it. They may then offer to take their share of responsibility.

* The Buck-Passers  - These may do the barest minimum and try to shift responsibilities across to others, sometimes to give themselves an easy life, and sometimes to cover up some kind of deficiency in their abilities. You should get facts and information from job descriptions, team briefings and documents that define the responsibilities of the individual. Make sure you get their agreement to specific outlines of their obligations. Help them feel positive about taking on their responsibilities by encouraging their contributions and involvements.

* Pessimists and Negatives – If someone is consistently negative or pessimistic about things at work, don’t try to make them look at the positive side. These Kind of people will be able to justify every thought pattern they hold and they won’t want to be seen as wrong by having to ‘accentuate the positive’. Instead, calmly acknowledge there may be some truth in what the person is saying, and get their acknowledgement that things need to change, and what would they suggest would be an alternative.  Encourage them to be constructive, not just positive. Discuss responsibilities for the changes that would have to be made. Concentrate on what could be done, instead of reasons why they can’t. Ask them to come up with solutions; this way, they have to be looking forward instead of viewing things through dark-coloured glasses.

* Competitive Types – There are some who feel they have to constantly prove themselves, take credit for things and generally have to compete in one-upmanship. That’s just the way they are, I’m afraid. It could be they lack the self-confidence to face reality for what it really is, and have to cover up their own deficiencies by raising their self-esteem through hot air. Resist the temptation to indulge in competing with them; instead, emphasise the need for teamwork and stress common goals that you all should be working towards. That way, they may start thinking about how to collaborate instead of compete.

Whoever you have to deal with at work, there will be times when you need to be flexible and adaptable in your approach. If you face some of the people listed above, try out some of the ideas and see if you can influence their behaviour. Who knows, you may have an impact!

Thanks again

Mark

Mark Williams

Head of Training

MTD Management Training Course

(Image by David Castillo Dominici)

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Once in a while, you will have to face situations where people choose to show aggression to achieve a goal. The reasons for the behaviour may be valid in their eyes, and they may be able to justify everything they do and say.

The question is, do you want to be able to influence people effectively and help them react properly when the emotions are running high?

Here are some ideas on how to deal with aggression coming your way:

1)     Stay calm yourself: Easier said than done, but essential if you are going to reason with the aggressor. Remember, when the emotional brain takes over, the logical brain takes second place, so by forcing yourself not to be influenced by emotion, you stand a better chance of dealing with it.

2)    State clearly how you see it: Identifying the position from your point of view helps the other person to see a new or differing perspective. Remaining calm helps them see their behaviour isn’t
going to influence you.

3)     Show them you see their point of view: Seeing their angle doesn’t mean you agree with it; it simply means you understand it. People are more willing to rationalise a situation if they feel they are understood.

4)     Resist the urge to fight back: This will add fuel to the fire and not help with your control. Stay calm, don’t interrupt and allow the emotion to burn itself out.

5)     Focus on solutions, rather than blame: While emotions are running high, it is not the time to accuse or cast dispersions on other people. Blame will only ignite more flames, especially if the situation or person being blamed cannot be defended.

6)     If all fails, agree to leave it for the time being and return to it when the aggression has been dissipated: You may not be able to deal with the aggression at the time it is happening; by returning to it minutes, hours or days later, you may see it from a new perspective and the emotion won’t be clouding the issue like it did before.

Handling aggressive behaviour isn’t easy, especially when you can see the other person has a point. However, understanding why it occurs and dealing with the solution helps you put the emphasis on results, and helps the aggressor identify ways to release the tension in more constructive ways.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

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What do we actually mean by conflict? It can range from a difference of opinion right up to a world-war (and everything in between, of course).

Conflict is the end result of a disagreement between two parties. One party things/feels one thing or takes one position, the other sees it from a different perspective.

So what can you do when faced with this situation that might end up with conflict occurring and how can you approach it so it doesn’t get out of hand?

When in confrontation with a person you may be finding difficult to get along with, ask yourself four questions:

#1 How is my personal belief system creating a picture of the situation?

#4 What information can I give that will help them clarify their understanding of my version of the truth (my belief system)?

Now, asking these questions will help you see things from a different perspective, identifying first of all what you are personally gaining from holding your particular point of view.

Then, by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes, you identify their perspective, and the quality questions you ask will help you achieve this goal.

By explaining your view to the other person so they can see your view, both of you are now in a position to look for solutions, rather than digging in to you own positions, unwilling to compromise or collaborate with the other.

Following these questions will clarify the disagreement before they become matters of conflict and help you both focus on finding answers because of understanding each others’ views.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

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Sooner or later, unless you’re a brilliant manager or extremely lucky, you will get a situation where two members of your team have a disagreement. This may result in conflict and you have to do something about it.

Most conflicts occur because of a role conflict. It’s seldom these days that it’s a personality conflict where two people can’t stand to be in the same room with each other. So how do you deal with a situation that requires your input?

Get the two together in a room to discuss the issue. Have a positive mindset first, knowing that the disagreement CAN be resolved if you approach it in the right way.

You can start with “I’ve called you together because I have a problem and I need your help“. This is true because it is your problem and if it can’t be fixed, others in the team will be affected, and that won’t be tolerated.

State your concerns about the lack of co-operation between the two. Tell them how you are feeling, using high emotional intelligence wording. Something like, “I feel frustrated…” or “I feel a bit helpless here…” or “I feel disappointed…”. Make sure they know how it makes you feel. This may help them to start thinking about problem solving instead of blame-placing.

State what you actually see, their behaviour. No judgments. No blame. Just facts.

Ask for their help. “What do you think both of you could do now so I no longer have this problem?”

Facilitate the discussion. Concentrate on the future, which can be created, not the past, which can’t be changed.

Get them to agree an action plan. Focus on what can be done to resolve the issue, rather than what can’t. You need commitment for change from both parties. If they still want to maintain their status quo positions, ask what they now expect you to do about it. This will often help them identify the positive changes that need to be made and the benefits that will come from it.

Offer help, if that’s what’s needed.

Arrange a follow-up to measure the effectiveness of any actions they take.

End with something like “Thanks for agreeing to these actions. I’ll support you all the way. By the way, if any of these actions are not carried out, how would you like me to handle it?” This allows you to plan for the eventuality that none of you want, and you may have to be quite directive in what you do.

By planning the meeting as above, there’s a chance that the conflict can be managed by the two parties themselves without too much intervention from you. I’m sure that’s what you would really want, and your proactive actions may help you avoid any further conflict.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

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FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

Personal differences in the workplace often cause conflict to occur because people have their own viewpoints, attitudes and characteristics that determine how things should be. The more concrete these views, the more likely people are to be entrenched in them, simply because they feel that a different view may affect their self-worth or self-concept.

People decide to either accept differences in some ways or stand their ground. And it’s this stubbornness that can sometimes cause the conflict we often see in the workplace.

How can you manage the situation, and help the parties identify a way of dealing with it?

You might try the concept of ‘perspective change’ that allows both to see things from a different angle and hence achieve a better understanding of what a solution looks like.

For example, if someone has a fixed view and you want to see the bigger picture, questions like ‘what’s your intention behind this?’ or ‘what are you trying to achieve with this?’ will help the individual shift upwards in their perception, and give you a bigger picture of the rationale they are using to back up their viewpoint.

If both people answer the question, you may get closer to achieving a similar goal. You can ask the question again to achieve a bigger picture, and you may get to the point where both are looking for the same result or goal.

Now, if you hear they are being too generic in their descriptions of what is wrong, you may ask them to be more detailed by asking ‘how specifically does this affect you?’ or ‘how does this impact you?’

This gives you the opportunity to see precisely how they view the situation, and how it could be dealt with.

By achieving a different perspective from each of the people involved, you get them to see it from a position they probably hadn’t appreciated before, and maybe will be driven to a better and more agreeable response.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”