Our last part of our Communication Skills Masterclass highlights how to be the type of communicator that people remember…for the right reasons!

Many people assume that because they have spoken, the other person has heard them, interpreted them correctly and understood them. Well, remember that the quality of our communication is judged by the response we receive. So if the other person does not respond in the way we envisaged, the first question we need to ask is, was my communication as clear as it could have been?

In Part 3, we determined that creating a purpose and intention was instrumental to putting the message across and ensuring the meaning gleaned by the other person was effective, clear and efficient.

Well, it needs more than just words and logic to ensure the message is useful and purposeful. Most people assume that just because their message is rational and logical, it is also inspiring and motivational. Well, that’s only half the message, because it is only appealing to half the brain.

Yes, unless the message gets to the whole brain, it may well not be assimilated and taken in fully.

You will be aware that the left side of our brain caters for logical, process, rational, step-by-step thinking. That’s fine. And many messages you give will appeal on that basis.

But what about when you want to motivate someone to carry out a task or inspire them through your words? Then the right brain has to be involved, too.

This is because our right brains see the big picture, are linked to emotions, images and feelings, and build on creative thoughts. Think of the left brain as being the robotic, process-driven, rational-thinking interpretive side, and the right brain being the opposite, that is, creative, initiative-driven, motivation, big picture side.

If your communication is basic (do this, do that, get this done, etc), then it may well appeal to certain people who need that purpose-driven, rational reasoning induction and direction. But for the rest of us who need to feel the emotion behind ‘why’ we are doing something, or identify the motivation behind the communication, the right brains need to be brought into play.

You can do this by appealing to the emotional side of the person, adding values and beliefs to the communication, detailing the benefits of what might happen (linked to the intention) and driving the person forward with ideas, creativity, initiative and purpose.

That way, you are appealing to the ‘whole’ person and can get them specifically involved in finding the answers for themselves, determining how their thinking processes can be driven forward. This will provide them with meaning that they can attach to their communications with you, and you start identifying ways that results can be achieved in the future.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

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In Part One and Part Two, we discussed the need to listen effectively and get the real gist of what the other person is saying before earning the right to reply.

Here, we discuss how we can put a message together so that it is tailored for the audience (one or more people) and enable them to understand our message clearly.

You may have heard the expression “The Map is Not the Territory”. This basically means that everyone you encounter has their own map of reality and judges the meaning of everything they experience through looking at that map. The street map they hold in their hand is only a typical representation of the area it covers.

The same is true in their minds. We have to acknowledge that the other person’s (or people) view of what we say will never be an accurate rendition of our meaning. They will always interpret it after it is filtered through many layers of interpretation, belief, values, conditioning and many other things that makes them the person they are.

So, if that’s the case, what can you do?

Firstly, outline the purpose and intention of what you are wanting to put across. The purpose is the reason you are communicating. The intention is the result you are hoping to achieve. There are obvious crossovers between the two, but there are also differences. Your purpose might be to get the other person to understand a particular process, and your intention might be that they are able to actually go away from the discussion and put the process into action.

Remember that the other person(s) might be in a different ‘state’ to you, and the filters they are using may distort the real meaning behind your purpose or intention. Clarify your intent with them and highlight how you would like things to change or what you would like to see as a result of the conversation. That way, you bring your meaning and their understanding closer together.

And that’s the third area of communication that you need to check out: the meaning they have gained from the interaction.

The meaning is simply the message the other(s) have received from you. Simply asking, “Do you understand?” is not enough. The other person will filter the message through and determine if they understand their interpretation of the message. If yes, they will say they understand. This doesn’t mean they have the correct interpretation or understanding; just their own way of looking at it. Their map may not match yours!

Get them to explain the meaning of the conversation back to you, or the actions they will take as a result of the discussions. That way, you get a clearer picture of how they see things.

Recall the story of five blind men who come across an elephant and have to explain what it is to each other. As each person touches a different part of the animal (trunk, leg, tail, tusk, ear), they tell a different story of what they interpret the elephant to be.

The same would be true if you asked the other person for their rationale on what you have just discussed. By asking, you get their meaning and can determine if it is exactly as you meant it to be.

Remember Purpose, Intention and Meaning. These three will help you prepare your message beforehand and take you along the route to correct interpretation.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

Follow us here on Twitter

In Part 1, we discussed the symptoms of poor listening and what makes us miss what the other person is saying. Here, we outline the skills you need to overcome the barriers that we put up when communicating with people.

1) Focus on the speaker: I know it’s difficult, but you have to try to clear your mind and concentrate on what is being said. The chatter in your own mind will interfere with your listening, so if you quiet that voice by paying attention, you will give yourself the chance to hear exactly what is being said.

2) Interpret the Meaning: Everyone’s interpretation of meaning will be guided by their beliefs, values, experience, biases, conditioning and programming. So, we need to carry out Steven Covey’s advice of ‘listening to understand’ rather than ‘listening to reply’. By attempting to understand the meaning, you are getting inside the mind of the other person, appreciating their point of view and gaining an understanding of the meaning. By doing this, you also resist the urge to interrupt, as your attention is on the other person and not your internal chatter.

3) Evaluate Carefully: When you’ve got the right meaning in mind, you can interpret the value of what you have heard and match it against your own map of reality. Think of the word ‘evaluate’. Here you ‘e-value-ate’ the meaning and assess the worth of the content. Is it useful, is it true?

4) Respond Appropriately: A Danish proverb states ‘He who is afraid of asking is ashamed of learning’. Your response will determine how the conversation goes. Some things the other person says will be self-evidential truths (facts), other things will be less obviously clear (opinions). If you’re unsure of meaning, if the person has employed deletions, distortions or generalisations, then you need to assess whether your understanding is correct by assimilating the facts and asking clarification questions. Then, your response is well thought-out, and takes the conversation forward.

No-one was ever sacked for listening too much. If you show excellent listening skills, you create an environment for deep conversational interaction and other people will enjoy sharing ideas and creativity with you.

Our next part of our MasterClass will cover how to put the message together effectively, so the audience will pay attention.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

Follow us here on Twitter

For today’s blog, here’s an exercise that will have you thinking.

Take a look at the letters below for about 10-15 seconds:

J   FKFB   IUP     SHI     VNA    SAJ     AN

Now, turn away and write as many letters as you can remember, without peeking!

If you’re like most people, you probably remembered around 7-10 letters, as that is the average. Compactness is essential when we are conveying information, as our conscious awareness can only hold a small amount of information at a time.

OK, when you’ve done that, scroll down to try the exercise again…

This time, I have put the same letters in the same order, but I’ve changed the way the letters are grouped.

Study the letters for about 10-15 seconds, then turn away and try remembering the sequence again by writing them down:

JFK      FBI       UPS    HIV       NASA     JAN

Chances are you did better second time round, because the letters actually meant something to you and that made them easier to remember.

In the first exercise, I was asking you to recall raw data that didn’t mean anything, so you had nothing to ‘hook onto’. Second time, you were remembering concepts, like John F Kennedy, The FBI, UPS, the HIV virus, NASA and the shortened form of the month January.

How does this apply in the real world? Well, when you are communicating a message, remember that people hearing it will always (that’s ALWAYS) refer back to their own belief systems, their values, their opinions, their rules, their ideas, their standards and their conditioning to ascertain the MEANING of what is being said. They will refer back in their subconscious memories to determine whether they agree or not with what is being said. Then they check those associations with what is coming in through their senses.

If they can associate something with the concepts you are conveying, they then have an association with it, and this leads to an interpretation, and finally a level of understanding.

So, when you are communicating with someone, think about their level of understanding of the ideas, subjects and concepts at present. Then help them to associate the new ideas with what they already know, in a way that’s easy for them. That way, they can see the message clearer and it allows them to ‘see’ your meaning easier and with less misinterpretation.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

Follow us here on Twitter

Take a moment and write down what you think I mean when I mention the word ‘Quality’.

Go on, get a pen and write down your definition of the word.

Now do the same for the words ‘Customer satisfaction’.

Done it? Good.

Now ask yourself how other members of your team would define the words. Would there be a correlation or would there be distinct differences?

When we communicate with others, we often think that because we know what we are talking about, everyone else will too. But it may be possible that others have a different understanding of the meaning of what you said. If we can’t clearly define and agree upon the meaning of terms we use in our particular business, our communications become very fuzzy, as our expressions are mistranslated in their minds to mean something else.

So, how can you make sure every understands everyone else in the business (or at least has a good shot at it?) Here are some ways:

1) Carry out an exercise with your team where you mention some buzzwords you often use in your company or industry and get people to write down their understanding of them. Compare if you really are close in your interpretation of the meanings

2) Decide on a group definition of the buzzwords that every team member can buy into. This ensures consistency.

3) Have team members give ideas on how the meanings can be displayed so everyone is in agreement and singing the same song in harmony

4) Decide what the meanings of these terms mean to us as a business and how we can utilise this agreement with prospects and clients alike

5) Determine how you will measure the effectiveness of everyone who matters knowing the definitions, the application of the definitions and what the end results will be.

This exercise will ensure your team is coherent and in-line with each other when it comes to understanding what everyone means in relation to buzzwords. It will then make sense to everyone and you reduce the risk of misinterpretation of ideas and the incidents of misunderstandings should go down.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

Follow us here on Twitter