How many times have you said sentences like these?

It isn’t very far!

Let’s get together sometime!

I need it quickly!

I would like you to do this really well!

We need to communicate better!

That will cost a lot!

Call me later!

I’m sure there are many similar statements you have made that are ambiguous or unclear in their meaning.

These are examples of what are known linguistically as ‘generalisations’, and even though we may have a clear idea of what we mean by ‘a lot’, ‘later’ or ‘better’, are you sure that the other person has a clear understanding and knows what you mean? Of course, the answer is no.

There are times when you want to be deliberately vague, not because you want to mislead, but because you genuinely don’t know the answer now. What I’m referring to are those occasions when the other person needs to be really clear on what you are saying, so there’s no misunderstanding.

The first thing you need to do is to be clear in your own mind of the meaning you want to convey. In this blog, I covered the three areas you need to be aware of before communicating effectively. They were purpose, intention and meaning. If you want the other person to be understand complete what you are discussing, become totally aware of when you use these generalisations, and whether they convey the meaning you originally intended.

Try writing down the sentences I’ve listed at the top of this blog and giving them to your team members. Then ask them to write what they consider the meaning to be next to each one. You might be surprised to see the differences that each person interprets the messages as.

Does this mean you have to be absolutely accurate every time? That would be impossible, but what you can do is become highly aware of what the messages you are sending actually mean to the person you are talking to. If it could be mis-interpreted, mis-construed or mis-aligned, determine whether there is a different way you could express it so it becomes more clear.

You may start off with a sentence like ‘we have to communicate better’, and then filter down into smaller chunks to clarify what you mean and ensure your listeners understand the meaning behind the message. You could continue with ‘ what I mean by this is the level of communication has to be correct for the situation and the message, and we need to be clearer in what we say. Let me give you an example…’ and then get more specific in what you need them to do.

Think back on occasions when you felt confused about a message given to you and how you interpreted it. Then think how you would have preferred that message to have been given to you. That way, you encourage yourself to reduce the amount of generalities you use and lessen the amount of misunderstandings you cause.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training Course

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”

One of our communication courses includes a section on obtaining feedback from your staff, and this is an area that many managers have concerns with. They feel that their staff hide their real feelings and are afraid to offer any form of feedback in case they say the wrong things or invite trouble because of disagreeing with ideas that have been put forward by you, the boss.

So how can you encourage feedback, so your people gladly give it and communication lines are kept open? How do you make sure you obtain honest and reliable feedback? Here are some tips:

First, be proactive in asking for feedback: This is necessary so you can find out if the messages you are giving have been received in the way you intended. If you can’t get effective feedback, you will never know if the messages have been received accurately.

Then, don’t be defensive: Challenging any validity of the feedback, reasoning out your actions, or arguing with the individual will immediately kill the feedback opportunities you might have wanted in the past and will get in the future.

Next, check your understanding by summarising what you’ve heard: Saying something like “Let me be clear I’ve understood you correctly”, or “From what you’ve said, am I right in thinking…”. These statements will clarify any misunderstandings you might have picked up.

Then, check any underlying assumptions: Ask clarifying questions directly, or identify the receiver’s assumptions by determining the meaning you originally intended to give and how it may have been interpreted by the individual.

Remember to check the other person’s non-verbal messages: Their body language, facial expressions, eye contact and posture may well give a bigger message than what they specifically say. So be aware of what signals the person may be giving off non-verbally. Watch for any mismatches in what is being said and the non-verbal gestures they display.

Finally, ask questions to confirm your understanding of the feedback: This is for clarification, not judgement. Determine which issues need further discussion, and get the real viewpoint from the other person.

Always remember the reason why you want the feedback in the first place. Be aware that your manner and attitude may affect the way the person approaches you in the future, so be open and willing to listen. Encourage feedback on all occasions and you will get specific ideas from others who may have a different perspective from you.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training Course

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”

Have you been in the position where you disagree with your boss, but are afraid to say anything because of the repercussions that may ensue? Join the club!

There are many people who have been in this position and it causes more frustration than many people can deal with. They either lack the assertiveness skills to face up to the situation, or they fear the consequences of doing so. It may trigger a negative reaction from the boss, or you may be viewed as being negative.

But most managers tell me that they would welcome different opinions and actually value alternative perspectives…as long as they can see the value in the new idea and it’s expressed in a way that will drive decision-making forward.

If you do decide to be constructive and disagree on a point with your manager, here are some ideas that may help:

1) Ensure your ideas are in co-operation with your boss’s goals and the organisation’s vision. For example, “I think that this new project management system is actually more effective than the one we are using and it’s the same price. I know we’ve been using it for some time; would you like me to tell you the extra benefits we would get from the new system?”

2) Don’t just raise objections to what they say…come up with actionable suggestions. Your boss will appreciate some suggestions for alternative courses of action, rather than just highlighting what is wrong with their current mode of thinking.

3) Explain how your idea will overcome risks or bring greater benefits. By detailing what the alternative ideas will result in, you give the boss a better perspective on how it might improve systems or processes.

4) Offer the alternative choices. Hopefully, no manager (even yours) believes they have a manifesto on being correct all the time, so if you have alternative choices, it will help him or her weigh up the consequences with you and come up with ideas that could supplement yours.

5) Reflect their concerns and show how your ideas would work just as well or better. Tell them you’ve done your research and understand how your ideas might cause some concerns. Outline the results your ideas would bring and help them to see that the risks or worries they might have have been thought through effectively.

Naturally, if you both share the same goals and principles, disagreements won’t occur often. When they do, you now have some ideas that will help you have confidence in approaching any situation like this with a plan of action and a results-oriented approach.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training Course

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”

If your boss has different ideas to you, it can be difficult to get on their wavelength and identify how to add value to their management. How can you work with the boss and ensure you both are singing from the same songsheet?

Try these tips and see if they work for you:

* Agree on mutual expectations, responsibilities, standards of performance and success measurements. By doing this, you lay the foundation for all future dealings with them.

* Ask them to share their own goals and objectives. This way, you can offer help in them achieving what they want within the organisation, hence making you someone of necessity to them.

* Determine how you can help the most. Which areas that you have skills in would make their jobs easier?

* Deliver results in the way your manager wants them. Keep them informed at all times on how progress is going.

* Be dependable. If you make a promise, please keep it. Your boss doesn’t want to be made to look a fool if they’ve promised and you don’t deliver.

* Be open and receptive to feedback and advice. Don’t always look at defending yourself; it may be that they are right and you are wrong on this occasion.

* Anticipate and be proactive with problems on a timely basis. You don’t want it turning into a crisis before you let you manager know.

* Don’t waste your manager’s time. If it’s trivial, leave it till an appropriate time. If it’s important, let them know. But don’t become known for being a time-waster.

* Identify how your manager wants information given to them. Are they big-picture thinkers or do they sweat the small stuff? Identify this and give them information in the way they need it.

By understanding how your manager acts and reacts, you develop your relationship with them and identify the pressures they face. You need to become the kind of person your manager respects and can trust.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training Course

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”

One of the least-performed tasks that managers perform is that of showing adequate appreciation for work that is carried out. As we know, recognition and appreciation are two of the key motivational drivers for everyone, yet we often fall short of recognising people’s performance, and there are many reasons for this.

Some managers say that they pay people to do their work, and that is recognition enough, isn’t it? Also, the performance is only adequate, so why should I thank them or show appreciation for just an average job?

Well, that’s all very understandable; however, everyone needs to feel that they are noticed and feel appreciated. It’s basic motivational practice. So how can you make sure that what you do is noticed, appreciated, recognised and understood?

Firstly, when you are discussing your manager’s expectations of you, tell them that you really like to get plenty of feedback, particularly when things have gone well. This helps you to recognise what you can do in the future to maintain this good performance. When you do get some positive feedback, make sure you reinforce this boss behaviour by saying how much it is appreciated.

Secondly, and depending on the type of work you do, try to build up some recognition mechanics that you personally can measure (like goals, targets, etc) so that when you achieve them, you have some personal recognition that you can inwardly appreciate.

Remember, you may not be able to change your boss and the way they interact with you, but you can certainly recognise yourself and the good things you do. This personal satisfaction will keep driving you and enable you to dip into your reserves of intrinsic motivation when you need it.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training Course

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”