You know the feeling; a comment from another person makes your eyebrows rise, your mouth open wide and a sharp intake of breath taken in. They’ve made a comment that can only be described as being in ‘poor taste’.

What do we actually mean by that statement? Well, naturally, it’s a matter of opinion as to what constitutes ‘poor’ taste, though it is commonly thought that anything that could be considered risque or possibly likely to offend (even if that person is deemed sensitive) can be designated as being ‘poor’ communication.

You may think you’re just being humorous, but the other person might well feel you have taken a step too far. Here are four areas that it would be good to avoid if you are serious about conversing in ‘good’ taste.

1) Sarcasm. This is different from being witty. Wit is a clever remark that everyone thinks is funny, even if it just raises a smile. Sarcasm is a biting remark said in so-called jest that people more often take personally as a ‘put-down’. Complaining that the other person is being ‘sensitive’ or taking something ‘too personally’ doesn’t negate the sting. Instead, it shows the speaker is the insensitive one and lacks the emotional intelligence to know when they are offending and when they aren’t.

2) Ridicule. This is kidding that goes that one step too far. It makes people feel they are being laughed at, and being the butt of jokes. This can affect their self-esteem and their self-worth. Think of what your intent is in saying those things to another. Is it to motivate, up-build or encourage? Or is it to have a laugh at their expense?

3) Being off-colour. This isn’t funny, can often offend and has no place in the working environment. Just think: If you were the subject of such comments (be they based on colour, religion, sexual orientation, ethnicity, etc) how would you be feeling?

4) Trying to be the comedian. The harder some people try to be funny, the more irritating it gets. When humour is forced it tends to lose its impact. Instead, think about finding the humorous side in real, everyday occurrences. A quick, witty remark that is genuinely funny and not hurtful against anyone often raises people’s spirits genuinely, rather than being forced.

Think how you would feel if you were on the receiving end of any ‘poor taste’ remarks. Be aware of the sensitivities of others’ feelings. Think before opening your mouth. That way, you don’t run the risk of even mistakenly offending others.

Many thanks

Mark Williams

Head of Training

MTD Management Training Course

(Image by Digital Art)

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”

Many of the comments we get on our courses revolve around the way that people communicate with each other at work. Sometimes people can be pretty hard to each other, and relationships can be strained at best, destroyed at worst.

People want you to provide answers to questions, perform certain tasks, want to know when something will get done…the list goes on and on. Everyone has expectations, requests, demands, enquiries and such-like that make up a daily routine at work. Much of how you manage and meet these expectations ties into how you communicate with others. Communication starts by understanding how to use language in its most powerful and positive form.

Remember, everything you say has an impact on others. You can choose to be positive or negative. Naturally, positivity has a different impact to using negative influences. Positivity doesn’t mean patronising or glossing over the truth; positivity consists of three major components: honesty, directness and constructiveness.

Firstly, honesty. This means being straight and truthful. As long as you feel safe in doing so, honesty is always the best policy.

Then, Directness. Being direct means getting to the point with tact and respect. Don’t confuse this with being blunt. Direct means being assertive. Being blunt equals aggression, and many people confuse the two. Being blunt doesn’t take the other persons’ feelings into account and can often be hurtful. It’s also less clear than direct speaking because it could make the other person defensive and not see the main point you are making.

An example of being direct might be: “That report had several grammatical errors…let’s take a quick look together”

An example of being blunt might be: “That report was a right mess! Didn’t you do English at school?”

Finally, Constructiveness. Being constructive is being as objective as possible in the words you say. If you “tell it like it is” and get right to the point, you are being direct. But if you ruin the message by using destructive words, the other person may completely miss the point.

This doesn’t mean always speaking in the positive; sometimes issues have to be confronted and, by being constructive, you make sure the message is clear and respectful.

An example of being destructive could be: “That marketing plan simply won’t work. If that’s the best you can produce, we are going to have problems”

The statement might have a ring of truth, but the very nature of the way it’s put across might cause demotivation, demoralisation and defensiveness.

A more constructive way of dealing with the issue might be: “I had a chance to go through that marketing report, and I have some ideas on how we could fine-tune it. Let’s sit down and go through what’s needed”.

That way the other person doesn’t have to justify their ideas, and still maintains their self-esteem, while seeing how the report could be improved.

So, the three main elements of being powerfully positive (being honest, being direct and being constructive) can help you formulate and deliver a message that has impact and authority without being judgemental and demotivational.

Thanks again

Nick Hill

Training Director

MTD Management Training Course

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Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”

The human mind has been a fascination for me for many years. Interestingly, around 90% of what we know about the human brain has been discovered in the last 15 years. This has profound effects on how we manage and lead our people. Gone are the days when we could just tell people what to do and they would do it. Today, we need to determine the key motivations of our team members and communicate with them on a different level, if we are going to get the best out of them.

I came across an interesting piece that shows how incredible the brain is, and can influence how we think about trying to be perfect in everything we do…

See how easy it is for you to read this paragraph:

THE PAOMNNEHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist andlsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

When I first saw that, it blew me away. I thought that bad spelling was bad because it was unreadable. Now I realise that it just means unprofessionalism. People know exactly what you mean…they just don’t admire your intelligence or your proof reading.

Your mind is capable of incredible things. It can create new designs, build new buildings, change lives, produce happiness or encourage relationships. By identifying how your mind works, you can create a leadership legacy that will be followed by many.

A good leader will understand that all team members have a different way of viewing things. The brain has filters that are peculiar and specific to each individual. By identifying how a person thinks through an idea or a concept, we will be able to follow their thought patterns and see their perspective on things.

How valuable this could be for managers! You won’t have to guess the meanings of their discussions…you will be able to think through the repercussions and identify the true meanings. And you do this by asking questions that eliminate all ambiguity. The mind splits through the fog and clears all misunderstandings. It allows you to see the thoughts of another clearly.

As a leader, this makes things easier for you. You create ideas for people to follow and you get them on your side. You drive initiatives through to completion and get all involved to see the benefits. You instill passion and excitement in projects, because you understand the drive that makes people do what they do.

All this derives from the four-pounds of muscle between you ears. We can only scratch the surface of what we can do and achieve, but even that is remarkable. Indeed, Phenomenal!

Thanks again

Mark

Mark Williams

Head of Training

MTD Management Training Course

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”

 (Image by Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot)

Would you consider yourself intelligent? Of course! How would you get a management position if you weren’t? But scientists today have recognised that there are different ‘types’ or levels of intelligence, and it’s necessary to know what they are in order to ensure you are not left behind in the learning revolution.

By studying the research, I have come to appreciate that Social Intelligence is one of the keys to getting the best from my team. Daniel Goleman (of EQ fame) and Richard Boyatzis worked with colleagues at Hay Group (a HR consulting and research firm), to define 7 characteristics of “social intelligence” – behaviours of top-performing leaders at hundreds of corporations over two decades. Their research showed some interesting results, which I list below:

1) Empathy

Do you understand what motivates other people, even those from different backgrounds? Are you sensitive to others’ needs? The researchers found this was one of the main skill-sets that created deep relationships between managers and their teams

2) Attention

Do you listen attentively and think about how others’ feel? Are you attuned to others’ moods? This keeps the communication lines open and the relationship close

3) Organisational Awareness

Do you appreciate the culture and values of the group or organization? Do you understand social networks and know their unspoken norms? By being politically aware, you build up your knowledge and your capacity to affect others

4) Influence

Do you persuade others by engaging them in discussion and appealing to their self-interests? Do you get support from key people? Your influencing skills will have a big impact on how you are perceived within the business

5) Developing others

Do you coach and mentor others with compassion and personally invest time and energy in mentoring? Do you provide feedback that people find helpful for their professional development? By being really interested in the careers and development of your team members, you build reasons for them to trust and count on you

6) Inspiration

Do you articulate a compelling vision, build group pride, and foster a positive emotional tone? Do you lead by bringing out the best in people? This helps you create the environment for followers to want to be with you because of what you do and who you are, and not just because of your position

7) Teamwork

Do you request input from everyone on the team? Do you support all team members and encourage cooperation? Teamwork is key to getting results, and developing your team should be high on your agenda for ensuring success

Maybe you should work on one or two of these and see how you get on. Don’t try to do too much all at once. Build your intelligences and be seen as progressive in developing your social skills

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training Course

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Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”

It’s strange how we remember things that are important to us and forget things that are not. Or is it sometimes the other way round for you?

When you forget something, actually the memory hasn’t left you; you simply are unable to retrieve it because your long-term memory has two major components.

These are retrievability and stability. Retrievability is how easy you remember things and depends on how near the surface of our consciousness the information is lurking.

Stability is to do with how deeply the information is anchored in our brains. Some memories have a high level of stability but a low level of retrievability, and some memories are easily retrieved.

Just think of this example: Try to remember one of your old telephone numbers…difficult isn’t it? But if someone showed you that number, you would probably recognise it immediately for what it was.

Now another example: Imagine you are learning a new language and have picked up a few words. Without practice, over time those words will become increasingly difficult to recall.The amount of time it takes for you to forget it completely can be calculated and, ideally, you should be reminded of the word precisely when you are in the process of forgetting it. The more often you are reminded of the words, the longer you will remember them.

So, if you are trying to remember something, keep it in the forefront of your memory. This involves auditory recall (saying something to yourself), kinaesthetic recall (write it down or type it up) and visual recall (burn it into the visual cortex by looking at it, and describing it to yourself from different perspectives).

As a manager, it’s important to know how the memory works so you can keep up-to-date and not be found wanting when it comes to remembering important items.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training Course

(Image by Digital Art)

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”