Management is a key position within any business, and can be a very rewarding role to play. It’s not always plain sailing, though, and you sometimes have to deal with people who cause difficult situations for you.

For example, you may be in a situation where you find it difficult to deal with a team member. This can be caused by many reasons, including differences in positions and interests, motivations, personality styles, perceptions, cultural backgrounds, experience and many others.

Here are some questions you may like to consider to isolate the source of these differences and help you consider a way to deal with them:

How is your perception of the situation different from the other person?

How might their motivations differ from yours?

What do you find difficult about the other person’s style?

Does the other person’s communication style differ from yours?

What is the other person’s interest in this matter?

Are they taking a position that you find hard to deal with?

What experience or background does the person have that might be influencing they way they consider the situation?

Are other people involved in the situation, whose views you may have to consider?

Having answered those questions, what conclusions can you come to about the source of the difficulty?

The answers to these questions will give you a clear view as to why the difficulties are occurring in the first place, and give you a firm foundation on which to build a solution-focused conversation.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

Personal differences in the workplace often cause conflict to occur because people have their own viewpoints, attitudes and characteristics that determine how things should be. The more concrete these views, the more likely people are to be entrenched in them, simply because they feel that a different view may affect their self-worth or self-concept.

People decide to either accept differences in some ways or stand their ground. And it’s this stubbornness that can sometimes cause the conflict we often see in the workplace.

How can you manage the situation, and help the parties identify a way of dealing with it?

You might try the concept of ‘perspective change’ that allows both to see things from a different angle and hence achieve a better understanding of what a solution looks like.

For example, if someone has a fixed view and you want to see the bigger picture, questions like ‘what’s your intention behind this?’ or ‘what are you trying to achieve with this?’ will help the individual shift upwards in their perception, and give you a bigger picture of the rationale they are using to back up their viewpoint.

If both people answer the question, you may get closer to achieving a similar goal. You can ask the question again to achieve a bigger picture, and you may get to the point where both are looking for the same result or goal.

Now, if you hear they are being too generic in their descriptions of what is wrong, you may ask them to be more detailed by asking ‘how specifically does this affect you?’ or ‘how does this impact you?’

This gives you the opportunity to see precisely how they view the situation, and how it could be dealt with.

By achieving a different perspective from each of the people involved, you get them to see it from a position they probably hadn’t appreciated before, and maybe will be driven to a better and more agreeable response.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

One of the most popular sections of our management open courses is the discussion on managing conflict in the workplace. Everyone, it seems, has to cope with situations where factions, differences of opinion, or worse, occur between two or more people.

Our trainers often ask what proactive measures managers put into place to avoid conflict happening in the first place, and very often they’re met with glazed expressions and silence.

Many managers feel this is something that can only be dealt with after it occurs. After all, why would you put something into place to deal with events that aren’t happening?

But putting measures into place that can avoid conflict in the first place is not only sound practice, but relationship-building as well.

Let’s look at some ideas that will help you avoid conflict in the workplace:

• Keep your team involved and informed. Keeping information back can cause rumour and worry, the first stages of possible conflict. Misinterpretation of situations can result in accusations, blame and personal attacks. Keep the communication lines open to avoid this

• Resist becoming involved in conflict-generating games that people play. Think before judging others in public. Don’t make personal attacks on people behind their backs. Your example will be looked upon by others as something to follow, and it may cause conflict to be raised when there shouldn’t have been any

• Be cautious with any criticism you offer. Check before you over-react to situations and fact-find before making any decisions. Did you mishear or misunderstand? Check it out first

• Support staff rather than criticise them. The way you deal with potentially conflict-building situations could determine whether they cool down or heat up

• Tolerate others’ opinions and values. Although difficult, it may be better to view others as simply being human, and admit their ideas are different to yours. Always trying to prove yourself right may not be in the long-term interests of all concerned

• If there is a difference in opinion or misunderstanding, get each party to state their positions and get everyone to understand those positions before making themselves heard. This is part of Stephen Covey’s fifth effective habit out of the seven he wrote about (The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Simon & Shuster Ltd). The situation becomes less emotional, as both people have to think and listen, using different parts of their brain. The more rational people become, the less likely they are accelerate towards conflict

These proactive ideas may help you identify situations where you can avoid conflict rather than have to deal with it.

Thanks again,
Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

This is one area that managers are concerned about, mainly because conflict within team members often appears to be very personal and can affect morale very deeply. What causes it and how can you deal with it?

Firstly, why does it happen?

The main reasons for conflict appear to be:

• Disagreements over responsibilities (who should do what)
• Disagreements over policy (how things should be done)
• Conflicts of personality and style

These are some of the ways we typically deal with conflict.

Do you see yourself in any of them?

• Avoid the conflict.
• Deny it exists; wait until it goes away.
• Change the subject.
• React emotionally; become aggressive, abusive, in denial or frightening.
• Find someone to blame.
• Make excuses.
• Delegate the situation to someone else.

Can you imagine the results if this is allowed to continue?

What would happen to trust, morale, teamwork and efficiency?

This is why it’s important to deal with conflict within the team before it blows out of proportion.

Factors That Affect How People Manage Conflict

Some of the factors that affect how we behave in the face of conflict are:

•    Status: People in higher-status positions usually feel freer to engage in conflict and are less likely to avoid confrontation.
•    Gender differences: Males are generally encouraged to be more confrontational than females.
•    Learned behaviours: In some teams, conflict and confrontation are a communication style. In others, conflict always remains hidden.

Conflict Resolution Skills

Conflict resolution is a set of skills that can be learned. Firstly we’ll look at how you can understand the conflict through effective listening skills, then we’ll look at ways to deal with it.

Improve your Listening Skills

By listening actively, you show a level of understanding of the situation without casting judgement. You are also able to identify the emotions that have brought about the situation in the first place.
People in conflict often get emotional, so your role is to see through the emotions by really listening to the real issues, rather than the person’s opinions or judgements.
Your responses should be made up of two parts:

(1) naming the feeling that the other person is conveying, and

(2) stating the reason for the feeling.

Here are some examples of active-listening statements:

“It sounds like you’re upset by Jenny’s remarks.”
“So, you’re angry about the mistakes Pat made. Is that correct?”
“I get the feeling you have different expectations on this project to Mike”
Notice that you just state the facts, as you see it, rather than judging the feeling.
Remember, actively listening is not the same as agreement. It is a way of demonstrating that you intend to hear and understand another’s point of view.

Benefits

•    It feels good when another person makes an effort to understand what you are thinking and feeling.
•    Restating what you’ve heard, and checking for understanding, promotes better communication and produces fewer misunderstandings.
•    Responding with active listening has a calming effect in an emotional situation.

Actions to deal with conflict

I’m sure you’ve seen conflicts escalate and cause even more problems, so what can you do to heighten your chances of dealing with conflict?

• Use “I” and “me” statements; “you” statements sound accusatory and blaming
• Avoid name-calling and put-downs (“Any logical person could see that…”).
• Soften your tone.
• Take a time-out (“Let’s take a break and cool down”).
• Acknowledge the other person’s point of view (agreement is not necessary).
• Avoid defensive or hostile body language (rolling eyes, crossing arms in front of body, tapping foot).
• Be specific and factual; avoid generalities.

Can you avoid conflict?

Is there a way you could avoid conflict in the first place, so you don’t have to go through all this pain? Some ideas may include:

•    Handle situations as they are occurring, rather than allowing them time to fester and gain momentum.
•    Become aware of what sets off conflict in your area. What touchpoints do you notice that causes people to have minor disagreements that build into exasperation, then full blown conflict?
•    Coach everyone in the team on how to deal with conflict if it’s an issue. Prevention is always better than cure

By building conflict-handling skills within yourself and your team, you create better chances of nipping this potential motivation-killer in the bud.

Thanks again,

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”

As a manager you’re bound to find out that not everyday is going to be as pleasant as others. You may have problems with clients or deadlines but in my experience the worst days are the ones during which your own team has trouble getting along. If your team members are in the midst of a conflict it’ll be up to you to sort things out. Here are a few tips to help make that job a bit easier.

Determine the Actual Problem

Sometimes people argue and then things escalate until they no longer remember what the original problem was. Ask everyone involved to sit down and talk about what they perceive the problem to be. Once you all agree on a source you can start to find a solution.

Allow Everyone to Contribute

Make sure everyone involved in the conflict has the opportunity to talk about what he or she not only thinks the problem is but what his opinions are and how the problem can be solved. Give each person a set amount of time to speak and make sure everyone sticks to the facts – no berating other team members.

Reach for a Compromise

Identify the methods each member of the group thinks need to be followed in order to reach a compromise. Not everyone will be happy with the entire outcome but there is always a way to make as many people happy as possible. Identify both long and short term goals and find ways for everyone to work toward them together.

Thanks again,
Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training Courses

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”