Have you been in the position where you disagree with your boss, but are afraid to say anything because of the repercussions that may ensue? Join the club!

There are many people who have been in this position and it causes more frustration than many people can deal with. They either lack the assertiveness skills to face up to the situation, or they fear the consequences of doing so. It may trigger a negative reaction from the boss, or you may be viewed as being negative.

But most managers tell me that they would welcome different opinions and actually value alternative perspectives…as long as they can see the value in the new idea and it’s expressed in a way that will drive decision-making forward.

If you do decide to be constructive and disagree on a point with your manager, here are some ideas that may help:

1) Ensure your ideas are in co-operation with your boss’s goals and the organisation’s vision. For example, “I think that this new project management system is actually more effective than the one we are using and it’s the same price. I know we’ve been using it for some time; would you like me to tell you the extra benefits we would get from the new system?”

2) Don’t just raise objections to what they say…come up with actionable suggestions. Your boss will appreciate some suggestions for alternative courses of action, rather than just highlighting what is wrong with their current mode of thinking.

3) Explain how your idea will overcome risks or bring greater benefits. By detailing what the alternative ideas will result in, you give the boss a better perspective on how it might improve systems or processes.

4) Offer the alternative choices. Hopefully, no manager (even yours) believes they have a manifesto on being correct all the time, so if you have alternative choices, it will help him or her weigh up the consequences with you and come up with ideas that could supplement yours.

5) Reflect their concerns and show how your ideas would work just as well or better. Tell them you’ve done your research and understand how your ideas might cause some concerns. Outline the results your ideas would bring and help them to see that the risks or worries they might have have been thought through effectively.

Naturally, if you both share the same goals and principles, disagreements won’t occur often. When they do, you now have some ideas that will help you have confidence in approaching any situation like this with a plan of action and a results-oriented approach.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training Course

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”

Our last part of our Communication Skills Masterclass highlights how to be the type of communicator that people remember…for the right reasons!

Many people assume that because they have spoken, the other person has heard them, interpreted them correctly and understood them. Well, remember that the quality of our communication is judged by the response we receive. So if the other person does not respond in the way we envisaged, the first question we need to ask is, was my communication as clear as it could have been?

In Part 3, we determined that creating a purpose and intention was instrumental to putting the message across and ensuring the meaning gleaned by the other person was effective, clear and efficient.

Well, it needs more than just words and logic to ensure the message is useful and purposeful. Most people assume that just because their message is rational and logical, it is also inspiring and motivational. Well, that’s only half the message, because it is only appealing to half the brain.

Yes, unless the message gets to the whole brain, it may well not be assimilated and taken in fully.

You will be aware that the left side of our brain caters for logical, process, rational, step-by-step thinking. That’s fine. And many messages you give will appeal on that basis.

But what about when you want to motivate someone to carry out a task or inspire them through your words? Then the right brain has to be involved, too.

This is because our right brains see the big picture, are linked to emotions, images and feelings, and build on creative thoughts. Think of the left brain as being the robotic, process-driven, rational-thinking interpretive side, and the right brain being the opposite, that is, creative, initiative-driven, motivation, big picture side.

If your communication is basic (do this, do that, get this done, etc), then it may well appeal to certain people who need that purpose-driven, rational reasoning induction and direction. But for the rest of us who need to feel the emotion behind ‘why’ we are doing something, or identify the motivation behind the communication, the right brains need to be brought into play.

You can do this by appealing to the emotional side of the person, adding values and beliefs to the communication, detailing the benefits of what might happen (linked to the intention) and driving the person forward with ideas, creativity, initiative and purpose.

That way, you are appealing to the ‘whole’ person and can get them specifically involved in finding the answers for themselves, determining how their thinking processes can be driven forward. This will provide them with meaning that they can attach to their communications with you, and you start identifying ways that results can be achieved in the future.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

Follow us here on Twitter

In Part One and Part Two, we discussed the need to listen effectively and get the real gist of what the other person is saying before earning the right to reply.

Here, we discuss how we can put a message together so that it is tailored for the audience (one or more people) and enable them to understand our message clearly.

You may have heard the expression “The Map is Not the Territory”. This basically means that everyone you encounter has their own map of reality and judges the meaning of everything they experience through looking at that map. The street map they hold in their hand is only a typical representation of the area it covers.

The same is true in their minds. We have to acknowledge that the other person’s (or people) view of what we say will never be an accurate rendition of our meaning. They will always interpret it after it is filtered through many layers of interpretation, belief, values, conditioning and many other things that makes them the person they are.

So, if that’s the case, what can you do?

Firstly, outline the purpose and intention of what you are wanting to put across. The purpose is the reason you are communicating. The intention is the result you are hoping to achieve. There are obvious crossovers between the two, but there are also differences. Your purpose might be to get the other person to understand a particular process, and your intention might be that they are able to actually go away from the discussion and put the process into action.

Remember that the other person(s) might be in a different ‘state’ to you, and the filters they are using may distort the real meaning behind your purpose or intention. Clarify your intent with them and highlight how you would like things to change or what you would like to see as a result of the conversation. That way, you bring your meaning and their understanding closer together.

And that’s the third area of communication that you need to check out: the meaning they have gained from the interaction.

The meaning is simply the message the other(s) have received from you. Simply asking, “Do you understand?” is not enough. The other person will filter the message through and determine if they understand their interpretation of the message. If yes, they will say they understand. This doesn’t mean they have the correct interpretation or understanding; just their own way of looking at it. Their map may not match yours!

Get them to explain the meaning of the conversation back to you, or the actions they will take as a result of the discussions. That way, you get a clearer picture of how they see things.

Recall the story of five blind men who come across an elephant and have to explain what it is to each other. As each person touches a different part of the animal (trunk, leg, tail, tusk, ear), they tell a different story of what they interpret the elephant to be.

The same would be true if you asked the other person for their rationale on what you have just discussed. By asking, you get their meaning and can determine if it is exactly as you meant it to be.

Remember Purpose, Intention and Meaning. These three will help you prepare your message beforehand and take you along the route to correct interpretation.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

Follow us here on Twitter

In Part 1, we discussed the symptoms of poor listening and what makes us miss what the other person is saying. Here, we outline the skills you need to overcome the barriers that we put up when communicating with people.

1) Focus on the speaker: I know it’s difficult, but you have to try to clear your mind and concentrate on what is being said. The chatter in your own mind will interfere with your listening, so if you quiet that voice by paying attention, you will give yourself the chance to hear exactly what is being said.

2) Interpret the Meaning: Everyone’s interpretation of meaning will be guided by their beliefs, values, experience, biases, conditioning and programming. So, we need to carry out Steven Covey’s advice of ‘listening to understand’ rather than ‘listening to reply’. By attempting to understand the meaning, you are getting inside the mind of the other person, appreciating their point of view and gaining an understanding of the meaning. By doing this, you also resist the urge to interrupt, as your attention is on the other person and not your internal chatter.

3) Evaluate Carefully: When you’ve got the right meaning in mind, you can interpret the value of what you have heard and match it against your own map of reality. Think of the word ‘evaluate’. Here you ‘e-value-ate’ the meaning and assess the worth of the content. Is it useful, is it true?

4) Respond Appropriately: A Danish proverb states ‘He who is afraid of asking is ashamed of learning’. Your response will determine how the conversation goes. Some things the other person says will be self-evidential truths (facts), other things will be less obviously clear (opinions). If you’re unsure of meaning, if the person has employed deletions, distortions or generalisations, then you need to assess whether your understanding is correct by assimilating the facts and asking clarification questions. Then, your response is well thought-out, and takes the conversation forward.

No-one was ever sacked for listening too much. If you show excellent listening skills, you create an environment for deep conversational interaction and other people will enjoy sharing ideas and creativity with you.

Our next part of our MasterClass will cover how to put the message together effectively, so the audience will pay attention.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

Follow us here on Twitter

I’m going to share some of my favourite communication skills techniques with you, so read on for some guidelines and ideas that will help in all your communications in the future.

Firstly, we are going to look at Listening Skills and why they are so important.

I’ve studied people’s listening abilities over the years and found that there are many symptoms of poor listeners. Here are just five:

1) Selective listening: This means simply that we program out certain themes, subjects and topics by habit, and soon it becomes unconscious. That is, we become totally unaware that we only listen for a small amount of time, or to certain people, or to a limited range of ego-boosting news. We filter out a lot of what we hear.

2) Interrupting: We can think faster than the other person talks, so often we can guess the end of the remark the other person is going to make. The danger is that this can become a habit, and we think that our information, remark, point or subject is more important than theirs.

3) Distorting the Meaning: Often, our belief systems and conditioning will mean we overlay our map of reality over what the other is saying. This could mean our understanding can be skewed to mean something different to the intention of the other

4) Being critical of the other’s delivery: If you are criticising in your mind what the other is saying, your attention strays away from what is being said, to a judgement of the method or attitude shown by them.

5) Being critical of what the other is saying: By judging the content, you simply cannot be listening. You are instead talking to yourself and interfering with the listening process, as you can’t listen to them while you’re listening to yourself!

So what can you do to stop these habitual symptoms of a poor listener? I’ll cover this on the next blog.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Course

Click below for a:
FREE email course “Improve Your Management Skills”

Follow us here on Twitter