People want you to provide answers to questions, perform certain tasks, want to know when something will get done…the list goes on and on. Everyone has expectations, requests, demands, enquiries and such-like that make up a daily routine at work. Much of how you manage and meet these expectations ties into how you communicate with others. Communication starts by understanding how to use language in its most powerful and positive form.

Remember, everything you say has an impact on others. You can choose to be positive or negative. Naturally, positivity has a different impact to using negative influences. Positivity doesn’t mean patronising or glossing over the truth; positivity consists of three major components: honesty, directness and constructiveness.

Firstly, honesty. This means being straight and truthful. As long as you feel safe in doing so, honesty is always the best policy.

Then, Directness. Being direct means getting to the point with tact and respect. Don’t confuse this with being blunt. Direct means being assertive. Being blunt equals aggression, and many people confuse the two. Being blunt doesn’t take the other persons’ feelings into account and can often be hurtful. It’s also less clear than direct speaking because it could make the other person defensive and not see the main point you are making.

An example of being direct might be: “That report had several grammatical errors…let’s take a quick look together”

An example of being blunt might be: “That report was a right mess! Didn’t you do English at school?”

Finally, Constructiveness. Being constructive is being as objective as possible in the words you say. If you “tell it like it is” and get right to the point, you are being direct. But if you ruin the message by using destructive words, the other person may completely miss the point.

This doesn’t mean always speaking in the positive; sometimes issues have to be confronted and, by being constructive, you make sure the message is clear and respectful.

An example of being destructive could be: “That marketing plan simply won’t work. If that’s the best you can produce, we are going to have problems”

The statement might have a ring of truth, but the very nature of the way it’s put across might cause demotivation, demoralisation and defensiveness.

A more constructive way of dealing with the issue might be: “I had a chance to go through that marketing report, and I have some ideas on how we could fine-tune it. Let’s sit down and go through what’s needed”.

That way the other person doesn’t have to justify their ideas, and still maintains their self-esteem, while seeing how the report could be improved.

So, the three main elements of being powerfully positive (being honest, being direct and being constructive) can help you formulate and deliver a message that has impact and authority without being judgemental and demotivational.

Thanks again

Nick Hill

Training Director

MTD Management Training Course

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I came across an interesting piece that shows how incredible the brain is, and can influence how we think about trying to be perfect in everything we do…

See how easy it is for you to read this paragraph:

THE PAOMNNEHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist andlsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

When I first saw that, it blew me away. I thought that bad spelling was bad because it was unreadable. Now I realise that it just means unprofessionalism. People know exactly what you mean…they just don’t admire your intelligence or your proof reading.

Your mind is capable of incredible things. It can create new designs, build new buildings, change lives, produce happiness or encourage relationships. By identifying how your mind works, you can create a leadership legacy that will be followed by many.

A good leader will understand that all team members have a different way of viewing things. The brain has filters that are peculiar and specific to each individual. By identifying how a person thinks through an idea or a concept, we will be able to follow their thought patterns and see their perspective on things.

How valuable this could be for managers! You won’t have to guess the meanings of their discussions…you will be able to think through the repercussions and identify the true meanings. And you do this by asking questions that eliminate all ambiguity. The mind splits through the fog and clears all misunderstandings. It allows you to see the thoughts of another clearly.

As a leader, this makes things easier for you. You create ideas for people to follow and you get them on your side. You drive initiatives through to completion and get all involved to see the benefits. You instill passion and excitement in projects, because you understand the drive that makes people do what they do.

All this derives from the four-pounds of muscle between you ears. We can only scratch the surface of what we can do and achieve, but even that is remarkable. Indeed, Phenomenal!

Thanks again

Mark

Mark Williams

Head of Training

MTD Management Training Course

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 (Image by Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot)

With apologies to our northern readers, the saying is absolutely correct. If you’ve ever had to have dealings with human beings, the best way you can describe different people is…well…different!

As managers we meet a complex mixture of characteristics in others, and the best managers we come across are those that can adapt to the strange ways of other folk.

You may recognise aspects of the personalities or behaviour in your colleagues in the following ‘types’.

* Lazy Shirkers – The best way to approach slackers and skivers who don’t do their share of work is to use involvement and feedback. Explain that you are having challenges and that you need help or suggestions. Tell them how you see it, and then ask for the person’s help in actually solving it. They may then offer to take their share of responsibility.

* The Buck-Passers  - These may do the barest minimum and try to shift responsibilities across to others, sometimes to give themselves an easy life, and sometimes to cover up some kind of deficiency in their abilities. You should get facts and information from job descriptions, team briefings and documents that define the responsibilities of the individual. Make sure you get their agreement to specific outlines of their obligations. Help them feel positive about taking on their responsibilities by encouraging their contributions and involvements.

* Pessimists and Negatives – If someone is consistently negative or pessimistic about things at work, don’t try to make them look at the positive side. These Kind of people will be able to justify every thought pattern they hold and they won’t want to be seen as wrong by having to ‘accentuate the positive’. Instead, calmly acknowledge there may be some truth in what the person is saying, and get their acknowledgement that things need to change, and what would they suggest would be an alternative.  Encourage them to be constructive, not just positive. Discuss responsibilities for the changes that would have to be made. Concentrate on what could be done, instead of reasons why they can’t. Ask them to come up with solutions; this way, they have to be looking forward instead of viewing things through dark-coloured glasses.

* Competitive Types – There are some who feel they have to constantly prove themselves, take credit for things and generally have to compete in one-upmanship. That’s just the way they are, I’m afraid. It could be they lack the self-confidence to face reality for what it really is, and have to cover up their own deficiencies by raising their self-esteem through hot air. Resist the temptation to indulge in competing with them; instead, emphasise the need for teamwork and stress common goals that you all should be working towards. That way, they may start thinking about how to collaborate instead of compete.

Whoever you have to deal with at work, there will be times when you need to be flexible and adaptable in your approach. If you face some of the people listed above, try out some of the ideas and see if you can influence their behaviour. Who knows, you may have an impact!

Thanks again

Mark

Mark Williams

Head of Training

MTD Management Training Course

(Image by David Castillo Dominici)

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By studying the research, I have come to appreciate that Social Intelligence is one of the keys to getting the best from my team. Daniel Goleman (of EQ fame) and Richard Boyatzis worked with colleagues at Hay Group (a HR consulting and research firm), to define 7 characteristics of “social intelligence” – behaviours of top-performing leaders at hundreds of corporations over two decades. Their research showed some interesting results, which I list below:

1) Empathy

Do you understand what motivates other people, even those from different backgrounds? Are you sensitive to others’ needs? The researchers found this was one of the main skill-sets that created deep relationships between managers and their teams

2) Attention

Do you listen attentively and think about how others’ feel? Are you attuned to others’ moods? This keeps the communication lines open and the relationship close

3) Organisational Awareness

Do you appreciate the culture and values of the group or organization? Do you understand social networks and know their unspoken norms? By being politically aware, you build up your knowledge and your capacity to affect others

4) Influence

Do you persuade others by engaging them in discussion and appealing to their self-interests? Do you get support from key people? Your influencing skills will have a big impact on how you are perceived within the business

5) Developing others

Do you coach and mentor others with compassion and personally invest time and energy in mentoring? Do you provide feedback that people find helpful for their professional development? By being really interested in the careers and development of your team members, you build reasons for them to trust and count on you

6) Inspiration

Do you articulate a compelling vision, build group pride, and foster a positive emotional tone? Do you lead by bringing out the best in people? This helps you create the environment for followers to want to be with you because of what you do and who you are, and not just because of your position

7) Teamwork

Do you request input from everyone on the team? Do you support all team members and encourage cooperation? Teamwork is key to getting results, and developing your team should be high on your agenda for ensuring success

Maybe you should work on one or two of these and see how you get on. Don’t try to do too much all at once. Build your intelligences and be seen as progressive in developing your social skills

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training Course

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When you forget something, actually the memory hasn’t left you; you simply are unable to retrieve it because your long-term memory has two major components.

These are retrievability and stability. Retrievability is how easy you remember things and depends on how near the surface of our consciousness the information is lurking.

Stability is to do with how deeply the information is anchored in our brains. Some memories have a high level of stability but a low level of retrievability, and some memories are easily retrieved.

Just think of this example: Try to remember one of your old telephone numbers…difficult isn’t it? But if someone showed you that number, you would probably recognise it immediately for what it was.

Now another example: Imagine you are learning a new language and have picked up a few words. Without practice, over time those words will become increasingly difficult to recall.The amount of time it takes for you to forget it completely can be calculated and, ideally, you should be reminded of the word precisely when you are in the process of forgetting it. The more often you are reminded of the words, the longer you will remember them.

So, if you are trying to remember something, keep it in the forefront of your memory. This involves auditory recall (saying something to yourself), kinaesthetic recall (write it down or type it up) and visual recall (burn it into the visual cortex by looking at it, and describing it to yourself from different perspectives).

As a manager, it’s important to know how the memory works so you can keep up-to-date and not be found wanting when it comes to remembering important items.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training Course

(Image by Digital Art)

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Because they have failed, botched, screwed-up, or not performed to the level I expected, I have to let them know how I feel about it.

Yes, that’s normal, but what do you want to happen as a result of the criticism? What do you want the person to do in the future? How do you want them to change? How can you criticise without being critical?

It’s a hard one to judge, because, more often than not, emotions are involved. You may be frustrated, angry, annoyed, peeved, apoplectic or slightly uncomfortable. But if you approach criticism with a temper or an angry demeanour, you are less likely to think straight and may say or do something you wish you hadn’t.

Giving criticism tests your communication skills. If you do it right, you can transform it from a stinging, negative message to an empowering, motivating experience for all involved.

Choose words that address the real issue. Reject generalities like ‘always’, ‘never’, or ’worse’. They will make the team member defensive and make them feel as if you are attacking them as a person.

Discuss the behaviour rather than the person themselves. There’s a big difference between ‘Jim is lazy’ and ‘Jim needs to return more calls from customers’.

Say what you actual see, in words that paint pictures to the team member. Say things that can’t be denied. Use facts, not opinions. This makes it harder for people to argue or debate the issue.

Reject words like ‘unacceptable’ or ‘careless’. These do not discuss the actual events; instead, you are labeling and judging someone’s behaviour.

Don’t question or criticise someone’s character or personality. Limit comments to specific actions you want the person to modify or improve.

Be direct, stating your comments succinctly. Don’t beat about the bush, but don’t be curt or hurtful. This is not the time to make the person feel bad.

Talk to them with the underlying belief that they are capable of doing better and learning from whatever it is you are talking about.

Above all, preserve the person’s self-esteem. You don’t have to concentrate on what’s gone wrong…discuss what they could do in the future to make it right. The past cannot be changed…only the future can be planned for.

If you maintain your calm demeanour, discuss the effects of what went wrong and what can be done about it, and unconditional confidence in their abilities, there is no reason why any criticism you have to display has to seen as being critical.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training Course

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”

Instead of trying to talk more and blind people with the level of their so-called intellect, charismatic managers grab attention by treating their words as precious resources. They only speak when they have something to say.

By keeping quiet, listening well and expressing your points in the fewest words possible, you gain a persuasive edge. People give undivided attention to those whose every word counts.

Poor managers:

• Repeat simple instructions to the point where they bore employees or make them feel patronised
• Tell long, rambling stories that don’t advance a conversation in any direction
• Interrupt others and change subjects often

Instead, try to appreciate the power of silence. This isn’t easy. Many people feel self-conscious when there are moments of silence in conversations. Some people think they may appear unsure, uncertain or lacking in confidence if they don’t always have something to say.

Remember that you are always communicating, even when you’re not speaking. So the silence may actually be telling someone something without you opening your mouth. Silence gives everyone a chance to reflect on what’s been said so far, and helps to disarm touchy or emotionally-charged subjects.

If you over-talk, you may bore others, because they may switch off if the things you are saying don’t add any value to the conversation.

When you feel the urge to talk, ask yourself if it could wait. Listen more than you speak. As the saying goes…best to keep silent and people think you’re a fool, than to open it and prove you are one!

So what can you do? Here are some ideas:

• Ask more questions. Get others to open up. By listening well, you might actually learn something
• After you’ve asked questions, stop. Give others time to think. Resist the urge to jump in and answer the question yourself. Determine others’ opinions first.
• Let people vent their anger, if necessary. If someone needs to blow off steam, be quiet and listen for the difference between fact and opinion. Listen for the words behind the emotion and identify the real meaning behind the words. They may say things they don’t mean because of the emotional instability, so differentiate facts from the emotional outburst.

Remaining silent helps you to pick up an awful lot of information. Share your ideas when necessary, but try to keep your ego in check when conversing. That way, you will earn respect and actually learn something!

Thanks again

Sean

(Image by Ambro)

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training Course

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”

She said she worked in a positive environment, where she was often getting positive reinforcement for what she was doing. Her boss was continuously praising her for being on time with her attendance or project inputs or meeting minutes. Yet, this lady didn’t feel as great as she thought she should. Something she said in her email hit home to me: “I feel that I am being manipulated, as if my manager had been on a course that told him to keep on praising people and this would motivate everyone. But I don’t feel good when he does it all the time. Am I wrong to feel this way, Sean?”

Interesting, eh? This lady was in a positive environment, but not feeling positive. Why?

Well, it may have something to do with our third myth of management; the fact that positive reinforcement practices often fail because they are dealing with behaviours, not performance optimisation.

Behaviour modification was popularised by psychologist B.F. Skinner in the 1930′s. His basic ideas revolved around the facts that when employees received positive reinforcement, they are more likely to repeat the behaviour that gained the praise in the first place. And negative reinforcement would force the employee to engage in that particular behaviour less often.

However, this often feels fake and manipulative. The lady quoted above could subconsciously see that the praise wasn’t really genuine. If it was, she would have accepted it for what it was. Positive reinforcement often affects the employee’s extrinsic motivation, but rarely their intrinsic motivation.

Coming to work on time because you know that if you don’t you will be reprimanded is an example of extrinsic motivation – you are motivated to do something because of what will result at the end of it.

Intrinsic motivation comes from within and is based on a personally-held belief.

Extrinsic motivation is compliance-based; intrinsic motivation is interest-based. Positive reinforcement systems encourage and improve extrinsic motivation, but not intrinsic.

As a manager, you need to find ways to create environments that improve people’s intrinsic motivation, things that will drive them from the inside, so their passion, drive, ingenuity, creativity and energy are tapped into. Manipulating by continuous praise won’t accomplish this.

Remember to mix the two, and you should get better results.

Thanks again

Sean

Wow, I just went slightly deaf with all the positive responses! But, of course, you know the current economic situation and you’re lucky to still be in a job, aren’t you? Well, yes, but how does it feel to be paid less than what you think you’re worth? Is it worth the hassle and risk of asking?

It’s important to think through a number of issues and have lots of information when you do pluck up enough courage to make your request. Ask these questions to help you prepare for any negotiations on salary:

• How is your company doing in the current economic climate?
• Is this the right time to ask for a pay increase?
• How have you been performing and what evidence have you for backing up your request?
• What is the typical salary range for a job like yours?
• What’s the best way to make the request?

So, firstly, decide what would be the best time to ask for the rise. Naturally, this would seem to be during the performance review process with your boss. But if this hasn’t been for some time, or any rise you previously had is lost in the mists of time, think about whether you deserve this discussion sooner rather than later.

Then, make plans to meet up. This has to be a more formal meeting than your usual ones with the boss, as the subject matter is one of great importance to you and them. Link it in with performance measurements and career plans.

Write down your contributions to the company and how they have benefited from having you there. Keep a file of your achievements regularly. You’ll need to build a business case for why the company should increase your pay. Document why you should be rewarded. Keep track of measurable results from your actions, e.g. increased sales, quality improvement, decreased staff turnover, etc. Be absolutely clear on why you deserve this increase.

Know what you are worth in the marketplace. Most companies conduct external and internal salary surveys to compare salaries industry-wide and geographically-spread. Such information is widely available on sites such as www.jobsite.co.uk/career/advice/negotiate.html and www.salarysearch.co.uk . Have a word with your HR department to discuss what your type of job pays in your industry and local companies.

Talk win/win with your boss. You want them to consider this as a benefit to the company as well as to you. Show how everyone has benefited from what you’ve done in the past 6/12/18 months, or whatever, and list your accomplishments in a way that shows those benefits. Show how you are going to build on those results in the next time period. Describe your goals in ways that will support the company’s and your boss’s goals, and how you will continue to make a difference.

Then, ask for the amount you are looking for in monetary or percentage terms that you know you deserve and why.

Listen to the response. Consider the reasons for what they are saying. Remember, this is a negotiation with them, so summarise your position and make sure you understand their position too. If you do meet some objections, make sure you are prepared to explain why you still think you deserve the raise.

If the answer is ‘No’, then prepare to ask what you need to do in order to earn one. What else do they expect you to do? Write it down and make it very specific. You need to know what their expectations are for the future and what their plans are for your career.

Here are some things NOT to do:

Don’t threaten to leave if you don’t get the raise. It proves you’re not that committed to the company and are basically just out for something for yourself. It negates everything you’ve said before about being a company player, and isn’t career-enhancing.

Don’t complain to colleagues. This proves you’re not a team player and can instil a lack of confidence in the company by others, wondering what the future may hold for them. Politically, it’s a disaster for you, and if management get to hear about it, bang goes any promotion or pay rise in the near future. You only prove yourself to be a whinger and a moaner.

Don’t ask what everyone else in the company earns. Unless you work in a company with an open policy on these matters, most salary details are kept private. Instead, do your research on the net and find out what you could get by benchmarking other companies.

If you prepare effectively and are confident in your abilities, performance and accomplishments, there is every chance that you will at least get a hearing ear when you talk about your deserved pay rise.

Thanks again

Sean

It isn’t very far!

Let’s get together sometime!

I need it quickly!

I would like you to do this really well!

We need to communicate better!

That will cost a lot!

Call me later!

I’m sure there are many similar statements you have made that are ambiguous or unclear in their meaning.

These are examples of what are known linguistically as ‘generalisations’, and even though we may have a clear idea of what we mean by ‘a lot’, ‘later’ or ‘better’, are you sure that the other person has a clear understanding and knows what you mean? Of course, the answer is no.

There are times when you want to be deliberately vague, not because you want to mislead, but because you genuinely don’t know the answer now. What I’m referring to are those occasions when the other person needs to be really clear on what you are saying, so there’s no misunderstanding.

The first thing you need to do is to be clear in your own mind of the meaning you want to convey. In this blog, I covered the three areas you need to be aware of before communicating effectively. They were purpose, intention and meaning. If you want the other person to be understand complete what you are discussing, become totally aware of when you use these generalisations, and whether they convey the meaning you originally intended.

Try writing down the sentences I’ve listed at the top of this blog and giving them to your team members. Then ask them to write what they consider the meaning to be next to each one. You might be surprised to see the differences that each person interprets the messages as.

Does this mean you have to be absolutely accurate every time? That would be impossible, but what you can do is become highly aware of what the messages you are sending actually mean to the person you are talking to. If it could be mis-interpreted, mis-construed or mis-aligned, determine whether there is a different way you could express it so it becomes more clear.

You may start off with a sentence like ‘we have to communicate better’, and then filter down into smaller chunks to clarify what you mean and ensure your listeners understand the meaning behind the message. You could continue with ‘ what I mean by this is the level of communication has to be correct for the situation and the message, and we need to be clearer in what we say. Let me give you an example…’ and then get more specific in what you need them to do.

Think back on occasions when you felt confused about a message given to you and how you interpreted it. Then think how you would have preferred that message to have been given to you. That way, you encourage yourself to reduce the amount of generalities you use and lessen the amount of misunderstandings you cause.

Thanks again

Sean

Sean McPheat
Managing Director
MTD Management Training Course

Click below for a:
Free email course “Improve your Management Skills”