I don’t know whether you watched Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares last night but there was certainly a lot of conflict involved!

Within the programme you had two ego’s, Gordon’s and the Restaurant owner - neither of them wanted to give in.

They were arguing about the food, the decor, the way Gordon spoke to the owner - you name it.

It got so heated that at one stage Gordon walked off and out of the restaurant! I thought that was it!

After sometime later, when both parties had cooled off they got back together to sort out their differences in a neutral spot - at one of the owners rival restaurants!

Here are some lessons from that:

LESSON 1 - WALK AWAY

If you are in a moment of disagreement or want to write that scathing email, walk away. Walk away and think about it. When you come back to your task/person you will most likely be thinking more rationally rather than being all het up!

LESSON 2 - FIND A NEUTRAL SPOT

Get away from the environment that you were in and meet the person you were having conflict with at a neutral venue. Meet over coffee etc. This diffuses the situation.

LESSON 3 - THINK WIN WIN

You have your opinion, they have theirs. Try to come to a win win outcome.

LESSON 4 - GET THE RIGHT DECISION

Would you rather be proved right than get the right decision for all concerned? Some people are like this. Don’t try to be right, make sure you get the right decision is made! Whether you are right or them!

In closing…

Take time out to reflect with managing conflict. A lot is often said that is often regretted later!

Live, love and laugh

Sean Mc

No, I don’t mean how long does Richard Branson jog for each morning or whether Gordon Brown can bench press 200lbs!

What I mean is that I have got a leadership exercise for you to try out that will help you to become a better leader!

I am a believer in modelling excellent behaviours.

What do I mean by this? Well, if you want to know how to become a better manager, you should find out who the best managers are in your company and copy what they do.

Find out what they do and why they do it. Find out the mindset that they have when managing and leading their staff.

Find out what management training courses they go on and what books they read.

Try to learn as much about them as you can so you can "step into their shoes" and think like they do.

For example; whenever I have to speak in public at a conference in front of say 1,000 people, I gain the mindset of one of my heroes Tony Robbins. (For those of you that do not know Tony, he is a self development guru and the only one that actually connects with me)

I then ask myself the following questions:

What would Tony think before he went up on stage?

How would Tony act?

How would he talk?

How would he walk?

What would he say?

I then go out and pretend to be him and the results are amazing. I think like him and therefore I act like him.

Try this exercise; write a list of the most successful people, leaders and managers that you know and then write out what they do that stands them apart from the rest.

Copy a couple of these traits and put them into your daily life for the next 3 weeks and see the difference it will make not only to your working life but also your personal life too.

Live, love and laugh!

Sean Mc

PS - Looking for management training? Please click here to make an enquiry.

I received an email from Lisa Jenkins last week wanting some advice on how to get the best out of her team. Lisa is a newish manager working in a call centre.

Here’s what she asked:

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"Hi Sean and the MTD Team,

I work for XYZ and we offer sales and service telephone support to our high street branches.

I am one of 25 team leaders within our call centre and I wondered whether you have got any type of checklist that could help me to see if I am getting the most out of my team?

Competition to be the best is fierce where I work so any help would be appreciated

Thanks for your wonderful tips, I don’t know what I’d do without them

Lisa Jenkins
Team Leader - Icarus Team
XYZ

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Here’s my reply:

Hi Lisa

Thanks for your email and kind comments.

We completed some customer service skills training for your company about 3 years ago - a little before your time I’d expect!

I have put together 10 questions for you to ask yourself about the way that you are managing and building your team.

Here they are:

1. Do you know the trouble-makers within your team?

Have you identified them and spent time with them to find out what makes them tick and why they do what they do?

Have you a plan to deal with them and turn them around?

We train thousands of managers each year and every now and again we come across the "know all"

I am sure you know the type! Those managers who reckon they do not need any training, that "you can’t teach me anything"

They sit there arms folded, they disrupt the others in the group and are a general nuisance. The very fact that they act in this way tells me they have no understanding of the impact of their actions and behaviour on others and need training.

Anyhow, we came across one of these managers on a recent management development programme.

When my trainer checked in with me at the end of the day here’s what she wrote in her email to me:

We did the Kolb Learning Styles questionnaire…her reaction?

“What’s the point? They’re only words! Arr, this is useless!”

“It says I’m a convergent thinker. So that means I’m not balanced. I’m a misfit. I might as well leave!”

We did the Management Styles Survey…her reaction?

“Pointless! Who says that I can only manage one way? I don’t believe this.”

We did the “square wheels exercise”. Most people get between 10 and 15 answers. Her reaction?

“I only got one answer. This is useless!”

I suggested that her team try some of the games on their table while they waited for other teams to finish. Her reaction?

“I’m not spacial, so I can’t do this!”

I set a five-to-ten minute reading exercise to do overnight, ready for an activity first thing tomorrow. Her reaction?

“You seem to think that we haven’t got anything to do tonight!”

I found this quite amusing. The rest of the group loved the days training but this one individual thought better.

Anyhow, we got feedback from the rest of the group and they were "ashamed" of her. We duly kicked her off the course and the entire programme.

You can lead the horse to water…

Sean Mc 

So what’s the difference between management and leadership?

We get this question on almost every management training course that we run!

Much has been written about the similarities and the differences but the one definition that says it all for me is the following:

"Managers do things right while leaders do the right things"

Leadership is more about inspiration, people skills, motivation and behaviours while management is about process, tasks and efficiency. There is a place for both so please don’t think that one is better than the other.

Thats all for now. What’s what your definition? I’d love to hear

Sean Mc